I fixed your pc. Sue me!

Hot on the heels of Spyware vendors pretending to be legit by joining (and then killing) COAST, they now want to silence their critics with the noble art of the cease and desist letter. Many major antispyware sites have recently had something approaching the below missive land on their desk, including Castlecops and Spywarewarrior.com:

Re: Incorrect Classification of iDownload’s Product as Malware & Related disparagement of iDownload

Dear Sir or Madam:

This firm represents iDownload.com with respect to your inaccurate classification of iDownload’s software product, iSearch toolbar, as Malware on the following four websites:

(1) www.netrn.net/
(2) domain blacked out
(3) domain blacked out
(4) domain blacked out

Specifically, a recent review of materials disseminated by your company, via the Internet, revealed that your company is falsely disparaging iDowload’s product, iSearch, in that Domains by Proxy, Inc. classifies the product as Malware and articulates that,

iSearch “Desktop Search” hijacker….

iSearch is unidentified malware….

Domains by Proxy, Inc.’s characterization of iSearch as Malware is damaging to the iDownload brand. As we all know, Malware is a phrase within the public conscience that has a specific meaning. A classification of Malware is usually reserved for those programs designed specifically to damage or disrupt a system, such as a virus or a Trojan horse, iSearch does not fit this profile.

iSearch does not qualify as Malware. iSearch is a toolbar that in no way attempts to remain hidden or evade detection, Continuing, unlike Malware, iSearch does not gather any personally identifiable information about end users, does not collect data about the user’s web usage, does not collect any information entered into web forms, does not share information with third parties, does not send or cause to be sent unsolicited e-mail, and does not install items such as dialers on the end user’s computer.

We would request that you correct your disseminated materials immediately to remove any reference to iSearch as Malware or Spyware. To the extent you fail to remedy your improper disparagement of the iDownload brand on or before February 15, 2005, we will take all necessary action against your company to protect iDownload from your continuing tortuous conduct. Should you have any questions regarding the foregoing, please feel free to contact me.

Best Regards,
Mark D. Hopkins

Blah blah blah.

A long time ago, security "experts" online roughly equated with hackers - they were pretty much one and the same thing. Eventually, the hackers continued with their black arts and the "security guys" went legit, making legit looking sites and doing legit kind of things. But now, it looks like we're going full circle and a strange brand of those who desperately want to you call them straight and narrow, are sending out warning shots.

We're going full circle because at this rate, the "legit" security guys may have to ditch their sites, go underground and try and tell the world about PC infections through carrier pigeons. Start boning up on the noble art of the disk eraser and the removable hard drive caddy, because when the feds start kicking the door down at 4 in the morning at the behest of some of the most aggressive installer software guys out there (see how I didn't use the word "Malware", not even once? I'm getting good at this), you'd better be ready for them.

Well Mark (if that IS your real name), you seem to have a beef with the term Malware but nothing else, so I think I'll spend the upcoming weekend calling your product some of the varied phrases your past victims have screamed at their PCs, as little Jimmy tried to find something on Barney the Dinosaur but instead found SCREAMING SWEDISH HARDCORE PORN through one of your glorious "sponsor links" - you know, the ones that have nothing to do with the search term typed in.

(By the way, sorry for the absence of said screaming hardcore Swedish porn in the above link, non-deceptive description fans).

I do wonder though, Mark - when are you going to go after Microsoft? Seeing as how, you know - they class you as "an install you'd rather not have" (didn't use Malware, don't sue!) I'm sure you'd last about, oh, all of ten seconds in a courtroom as you got the smackdown laid on you, Big Bill Gates style. Will you be sending him a C&D letter? I doubt it.

What I really don't understand about this whole need to send out C&D letters is that the wording of the iSearch EULA seems to imply that the makers are happily calling it spyware:

"ISEARCH INTERNET END USER LICENSE AGREEMENT

iSearch and/or the Software may, without any further prior notice to you, remove, disable or render inoperative other adware programs resident on your computer."

The use of OTHER in the above sentence would tend to suggest they are inferring their OWN program is ALSO adware!

So what are we going to do about "rather naughty programs that wil ruin your day somewhat"? Is there any future for sites like this? Will we soon start to see sites sued for using HJT to remove "articles and implementations of a programmable nature that kind of do things with (but not to) your PC"?

I don't know, but I could call iSearch things all day (in a purely descriptive, non definable sense!)