Categories
Rattles, prams and mass hysteria
"In psychology collective hysteria (also referred to as mass hysteria) is the name given to a phenomenon of the manifestation of the same hysterical symptoms by more than one person. It normally begins when an individual shows a hysteric manifestation in front of others who "contagiously" acquire the same symptoms.
Come on, you knew I'd have something to say about this.
I held back for a while - no point me just jumping in, guns blazing right? But wait - I like jumping in with guns blazing! Bodies! Blood! Diving away from explosions in a disintegrating string vest and optional tough guy stubble! So without further ado, here is my opinion for all to take and digest regarding the end-of-the-world news that - oh my God, I can barely bring myself to say it - Sunbelt.....come on, be brave......aaargh.....lowered their scan results for WhenU! Oh, the horror! The humanity! Won't somebody please think of the children?
Well, no - because PEOPLE ARE CRYING OVER NOTHING.
Let me tell you about a particular symptom I have noticed. It seems to primarily affect the antispyware world more than anywhere else. Flashback time...
A long time ago, the game went like this: companies made bad programs. Those programs hurt your computer, and BABY JEEBUS WEPT. Then, out of the shadows emerged a bunch of guys who didn't appreciate the above childcare horrors, and stuck it to the man. Sorry, Da' man. Now, Da' man didn't know what to do with this initially. Then one day, some creepy lawyer dude fell out of the sky with a C&D letter. Once Da' man realised C&D was nothing to do with hardcore bondage, he realised he could lay the smackdown on those scary cyber vigilantes. Things changed forever, and people who went up against Da' man had to weigh up the consequences of taking on a system that could bleed them dry and force them to live Oscar the Grouch style.
Present day - companies with power fighting guys like the above (only probably without the facemasks and Uzis) now take on Da' man. Sometimes they win, sometimes they lose, but a jolly good time was had by all and there was probably cake and orange juice served afterwards.
Oh, and a bearfight. Gotta' have one of those.
But this is not enough. For some reason - I don't know why - the people who voluntarily stepped into the high-pressure world of Adware fighting, are charged with the highest of responsibilities by the public at large. Forget army, navy, police and anyone else with life or death responsibilities. The fate of the entire free world rests on a couple of hundred programmers, researchers and guys in funky suits. These responsibilities have probably been written, Moses style, on a big-ass set of tablets. and guess what? I got them right here...
1) If you work for an antispyware company, or work freelance, or even if you accidentally logged onto a security forum in 1997 - YOUR ASS IS OURS. You must fight for truth, justice and must never sleep. Ever. You must set aside your life, your responsibilities (especially if you have families and a mortgage and stuff!) and DEVOTE YOURSELF TO BEING THE MOST FEROCIOUS, KICKASS SPYWARE FIGHTER THERE EVER WAS.
2) Got a beef with a randomly selected software install - Adware, word processor, MP3 Editing package or small round thing that goes boing? Don't use the powers of rational thought and logic to make a decision based in reality - SHOOT THE CEO OF THE COMPANY BEHIND IT!
3) Want to adjust your definition files because a company actually sorted some of their programs out? Don't make a minor adjustment to the way your program flags the software - DOUSE YOUR ANTISPYWARE TOOL IN PIG'S BLOOD, COVER YOUR BODY IN PETROL AND SET YOURSELF ON FIRE!!
4) Feel the need to make numerous public statements regarding not only why this change came about, but what it means in real terms for the end-user? Don't tell all and sundry about what you've done, PULL THE STILL BEATING HEART OUT OF A CHILDREN'S ENTERTAINER (prefereably during a birthday party which you gatecrashed whilst waving a chainsaw), RECITE SOME LINES FROM FULL METAL JACKET AND THEN THROW YOURSELF IN FRONT OF A BUS WHILE TRYING TO CHEW YOUR LEGS OFF!
Over the top? Yes. But that's how it appears to be in Adware land. There are the "good guys" and the "bad guys", and woe betide the good guys if they should "step out of line". In fact, its common to see people who work in antispyware labelled as "weak", usually because they "fear" legal action and this fear makes them ineffective. Their ties to the real world somehow make them "useless", because they dare to actually employ some common sense and not just charge in shooting their mouth off, because you know, that's how grown ups operate and they might actually want to spend the rest of their life with their family, as opposed to playing wifey to Big Bubba in county jail.
And as someone who has experienced this frankly baffling attitude firsthand on a number of occasions, I can only say - CEASE FIRING!
Why should anyone make a value judgement on what people do simply because they somehow feel these people are charged with protecting their very lives? I'm not kidding, I see this on a daily basis. The current Sunbelt "furore" is just another offshoot of that.
If these same people can find the David Carradine of Spyware fighting, with no ties to the world around him, no worries about the dangers of legal battles and the inclination to march into offices and do their best "guns, lots of guns" impression then fine - go nuts. You'll be waiting a very long time.
The rest of us do this for a living, or a hobby, or something inbetween. We all have lives outside of this thing. We all have families and other responsibilities outside of this thing. The guys who make Adware are real, flesh and blood people with suits and ties and probably a nice potted plant and a belt that isn't made out of rope. Their software did not just appear out of nowhere. Its creators do not live with Kodos and Kang in the Fourth Dimension. This stuff does not exist in a vacuum, battles raging in digital playgrounds away from reality while you sleep soundly in your bed at night.
This stuff is real, in real-time and in real-life. The smallest of decisions can have massive consequences (as we are currently seeing) and common sense must be applied at all times.
But people are making the most outrageous claims and demands, and everyone needs to calm down.
As an example, those individuals complaining that ANTIVIRUS SOFTWARE DOESN'T CLASSIFY STUFF YOU STUPID ANTISPYWARE NOOBS!!!12 are so out of touch with reality it is scary.
When was the last time a 17 year old ubergeek decided to issue a C&D letter to Symantec?
What if (horror of horrors) an end-user actually wanted a piece of "Adware" software on their machine? You may not want to hear it, but some people do. End of story. If a tool just goes in and removes applications without asking what the end-user wants to do - what about the rights of that end-user to have what they want (as well as what they don't want) on their system? These are all difficult questions to be addressed, but be addressed they must (wow, Yoda-speak!) It's a lot more complicated than pushing the magic button to make the bad people go away. You should be thankful you don't have to make these kinds of decisions.
The big issue here is that some programs have been downgraded. Apparently "average" end-users won't understand how to remove programs, should they choose to do so. At least, the LEET users can't be worried about this affecting themselves, because they already know what they're doing, right? So who else could they be worrying for?
Allow me to set something straight.
Blindly whacking buttons is how a lot of this stuff gets onto machines in the first place. Sad but true. But if an end-user then goes to the trouble of installing applications to make good what went wrong, it is safe to say that said user will actually put a little more effort into running the tool than turning into Johnny-no-brain and mashing the keyboard with his face.
They are *not* going to sit with drool hanging out of their mouth looking up the world "ignore" on Wikipedia.
Anyone running an antispyware app wants *rid* of the programs they feel shouldn't be there. Whilst people will charge that an element of naivety, stupidity or whatever else you may call it existed in the act of becoming infected, this same assumption shouldn't be levelled at those who want to cleanse their system. They have already made the mental change and want to kick some butt. Have some faith and believe that they will actually *understand* the program's clear notices that they can change the scan options for the programs found.
And if they STILL don't get it?
That's what the program's manual / help file is for. Give a hoot - read a book.
Over and over again - all I am seeing on numerous forums in response to highly detailed reasons why they changed their definitions is "Well it doesn't matter because its WhenU".
Sorry guys, but Antispyware tools rate the software, not the company.
And if people want to cry over some stupid definition changes about a bunch of programs that don't actually do anything, then boo-hoo-hoo all the way to mother. Everyone else will most likely be battling it out with CoolWebSearch and all the other REAL threats to your online privacy.
Oh, and don't go shooting any CEOs either. I hear they have switchblades in their shoes and flowers that squirt acid.
