Update on the broken laptop
...after beating a neighbour to death and stealing his shoes, his jacket and his XP disk, I managed to get back into the laptop, fire up the repair thingy and BOOYAH, back in business baby!
Thanks to everyone for their help - place all your sisters in a large, unmarked envelope and send it to me as soon as possible. Anything that's too large and hairy to fit into anything smaller than a large, wooden crate will be returned to sender.
Or put on guard duty.

