ProfileWatcher Reloaded

...because nothing says "cliche" more these days than sticking "Reloaded" at the end of a title!

Hell, I do it all the time! Hooray!

Anyway, on to today's helping of oddness. A while ago, I wrote about something called ProfileWatcher. It got you to agree that it could spam messages across Myspace. It wanted to you to agree to it "updating" with whatever it felt like. It begged and pleaded to let it place icons on your desktop.

It sucked, mainly because (surprise) half of it's features didn't actually appear to work. I love how all these stupid programs never actually work, and when they do, it's the equivalent of getting a stupid song stuck in your head all day.

God damn it.

Oh, and it also pimped Zango.

Well, it all went quiet for a bit, I failed to get onto Myspace because, er, it wouldn't let me login - lol - and then look what was waiting for me when I got back!

yeah baby, ProfileWatcher 2.0 - so I can STAY IN THE KNOW!

....woopity-doo. I loved it so much first time round, right?

Never one to ignore an open invitation to go complain about something, I downloaded the application and was going to do an in-depth comparison of the EULA, and if it had improved any since last time. However, a casual scroll through seemed to reveal that it was pretty much the same and still demanded total and utter obedience from your PC, so I couldn't be bothered and took the dog for a walk instead.

When I got back, I was more interested by what had gone missing, and what had replaced it.

Of course, I mean Zango - they're no longer tied to this stalkertastic program ("Receive instant alerts on your desktop when people you specify log in/out of MySpace and keep detailed reports of when and how much time they spend logged into MySpace.com - great for parents and employers!"), and in its place is an advert for some new thing called "Cashbot".

But wait! Not just any old Cashbot, no, it's CASHBOT - TWO POINT OH!

Anyone else intrigued yet?

I certainly am, if only by the repeated obsession with putting 2.0 at the end of everything.

A quick scan of the Cashbot site doesn't really tell you anything - except that it's a bot, and you use it to get, er, cash. Somehow. Um. Actually, its some sort of program that plays card games on your behalf and wins you loads of dough. I'm vaguely certain people running these games don't want you to use bots, but whatever. From the blurb:

"The software plays the game in exactly the same way that you would. It does not interfere with, modify, or exploit weaknesses in the game in any way. It simply looks at the screen, moves the mouse pointer, and makes the best moves possible."

....Huh?!?

But wait, it also has a "perfect memory of every card, utilizes complex algorithms that can analyze billions of card combinations in a fraction of a second, and..."

...sorry, I started lolling in my pants at the "billions of card combinations in a fraction of a second". Also, I take issue with the "look at the awards!!!!" thing at the side, because you'd reasonably expect it to be referring to the product in question. Not here, because one of the links (for example) takes you to a page containing....a completely different product!

.......yawn.

I'd have tested the program out, but I don't want to get busted for running omg hax on some random gambling game, and they want me to pay for the privilege. Not today, sweetheart!

As for ProfileWatcher, I have no idea if the features work because every time I ran it, the damn thing kept crashing. It's okay though - version 3.0 is apparently just around the corner...