Paperghost Postbag: Special Death-Threat edition

It's been quiet around here lately, but you can always rely on human stupidity to liven the place up in times of absolutely nothing interesting to write about. And so we come to a selection of wonderful missives that plopped into my Inbox this week. Batter up...

"Man u a fukin fool pickin on that gangsta guy. how about i find out who YOU are and come give you some grief? Thinking youre so tough on the internet mr anonymous? I'll kick your bitch ass."

...so, you want to employ your (no doubt) amazing detective skills and "find out who I am"? I'm sure it'll be a thrilling chase, full of twists and turns and lashings of red-herrings. Alternatively,

1) Go here.
2) Job done.

Now go away and never darken this website with your moronic stupidity ever again, lest I reach into your PC Screen and strangle you.

Next...

"You better bewre (I'm assuming he meant "beware"), cause im gonna f**k your ass up".

...I'd probably be more impressed if your sole attempt at terrifying me with your terrifyingness didn't soley rely on me not knowing you lifted your lame threat from a Wu Tang Clan album lyric. It would also look a little better if you'd kept "yo" instead of tidying it up to "you".

Honestly, if you're going to dish out a threat, at least make it an original one. Now get out of here, loser boy.

Next...

"you CANT STOP THE BLACK ATTACK!!!!"

....um?

Next...

"i hope you feel like shit. im into the scene and dont need people like you stopping me from making some money and feeling like i got someone breathin down my neck all the time. youre denying me a right to feed my family you piece of crap and i hope you burn"

You know something.....you're right. To everyone I've ever hassled or chased down online, I'd like to take this moment to apologise. Something I forgot in my ruthless quest for justice and exposing suckers the world over was that YOU are people too. Thank you for sending me the above, because it's made me see that w - oh wait, IT'S YOUR MOTHER RAPPING.



....lol. Put the rest of your cry-baby-o-gram in a DeLorean and SENT IT TO LAST WEEK WHEN I MIGHT HAVE CARED.

Nice rap though. Seriously.