Is this the Beatdown Stick I see before me?

Bruce Lee understood that there was no problem on this Earth that could not be solved by repeatedly punching someone in the face until they stopped getting up. With that in mind, I bring you an exercise in repeatedly punching people in the face.

Let us begin by looking at a wonderful missive that caught my eye on a supa-leet hax0ring forum this morning:

.....yes, yes you did.

See, Helgis forum had something of a bitter - and Hell, let's throw in twisted - group of rivals.

...I have no idea why their forum says "X Factor" at the top. I can only imagine someone there has the hots for Simon Cowell and B-rate singers.

They don't like Helgi very much.

...wow, Axxo has issues.

So anyway, their forum. What was it? Well, you guessed it - Helgi-lite, with a bunch of hacking, cracking and phish links all over the place. Here's a cracked version of NOD32:

Here's a bunch of cracked programs up for grabs including Photoshop, Dreamweaver etc:

Some Habbo hacking apps:

A "Date of Birth Brute Forcer":

....and, finally, a ton of stolen username / password combinations. Some mention gaming, some of them give no indication what they're used for.

....call it a hunch, but I don't think this is going to end well for these kids.

Did I mention they didn't like Helgi much? From the FAQ:

.....ouch.

Rather hilariously, they were quick to take credit for "hacking" Helgis forum and taking it over.

Luckily for them, I hate everybody so when I sat down this morning and thought, well, what shall I do today before breakfast? The answer was simple.

Now you see it....

.......and now you don't.

.....like I said......Bruce Lee.

Shall we go pay the owner of the forum a little visit? Helgis equal and opposite number? Sure we will. He wasn't online when I logged into MSN, so I took the liberty of leaving him my calling card:



Shall we jump into their chatroom?

........yeah, you knew it was coming. Now, I'm sure these kids probably aren't too happy about me decimating another one of their little happy-crack communities. They'll likely be back on yet another board somewhere soon. Hell, they're probably already rebuilding somewhere right now and then we can go do this all over again. But the important thing to remember here is contained in the below panel, which - I think - beautifully illustrates the current state of play between myself and these kids: