Choose! Choose the form of your Destructor!

I love the scene in Ghostbusters where they have to choose what the bringer of the end of the world looks like. I can only imagine our source of entertainment for the day had it in mind when they hit that "send" button.

"Send button", I hear you cry? Well, I get a lot of awesome mails. Some offer me midgets, some offer me pumps that inflate things, some even offer inflatable midgets (minus the pump).

However, nothing could possibly top this, the greatest misdirected missive of all time that came my way a few days ago. I don't know if this is supposed to be an olive branch, an offer of a temporary ceasefire or what but here it is in all its surreal glory:


Bad enough that this idiot cut and pasted the above text from another, entirely unrelated hacking sites' mailshot - even worse that he thought it'd be a good idea to send it to me. If I had to sum up the potential for extreme mischief that such a mail could generate, I think this would be a pretty good summary:

At this point, I'd like to think in some alternate Universe, I embarked upon a glorious journey of hacking and cracking. Of learning about the key elements that make up a hackers mindset. Of understanding that hacking and cracking is an eternal expression of our right to free speech, our will to rage against oppressive Governments and the controlling fantasies of The Man.

Unfortunately, I'm an asshole and eat free speech for breakfast. Lookout kids, because here comes a nuclear powered jackboot from outer space:

"The choice is made! The Traveler has come!"

The thing about nuclear explosions is that a lot of innocent people die in the fallout. Thankfully, none of the following are innocent so let's all point and laugh:

Six Myspace Phishies nailed!


A handful of Cracks smacked!



A pile of Keyloggers kicked in the nuts!


Webpages, shops and a bunch of other generic stuff I simply can't be bothered cutting and pasting in because I'm sick of the image upload interface!

And, as a special finale, one pwned ISP account. How so? Well, someone seems to want to sell you his hacking and cracking tools:

Unfortunately for the Jimmy Hackpants in question, he can't be that bright because he happens to be doing it from his ISP-provided webspace. Selling Matrix Online hacking tools too, eh?

Doh. Not anymore, you're not.

Enjoy dialup, idiot boy.

Or, as I like to put it when playing The Matrix Online (via the fine art of kicking people in the head)....