Save us from these idiots
So some old guy who clearly knows nothing about computers - or how many internets you can fit into them - is seriously rubbing me up the wrong way.
“You need youngsters who are deep into this stuff… If they have been slightly naughty boys, very often they really enjoy stopping other naughty boys,” he said.”
Wait, what?
Look out, clueless guy ahoy.
Apart from the fact that there's something distinctly pervy sounding about calling them "naughty boys" and "enjoyment" at them "getting caught" - we're not in some sort of boarding school here - this is the biggest heap of crap I've heard since the last time some old guy who knows nothing about computers talked a load of old crap.
Let's go out and hire (nay, REWARD) a bunch of talentless, idiotic script kiddies who haven't done very much of note to defend a country? Oh yeah, that's genius, that is.
Except that they
a) have little to no technical knowledge
b) enjoy cutting and pasting other peoples work (due to the whole lack of knowledge thing) and
c) are idiots, who leave their entire life across ten social networking sites then wonder how come you're waiting outside their house with a baseball bat and a length of cheesewire.
Last time I checked, the SAS was not full of morons. Nor are the SEALs, or any number of dedicated anti-whatever teams. Why should UK cyber security rather predictably be given the bastard children of a thousand leftover takeaway meals to defend it?
Idiots commanding idiots, I love it. I'm going to go out and phish six hundred XBox Live accounts, I might be in Whitehall within six months. Let me tell Old Man McGinty something - I have waded through a crapload of script kiddies, and every now and then even convinced them to do the right thing(TM).
But you know what? In order to get them to do the right thing, more often than not I had to THREATEN THEM WITH HORRIBLE AND EMBARRASSING THINGS. It took time. It took effort. It took pictures of them cavorting with their rather large and thuggish best mates girlfriend. Sometimes I did the cavorting.
It took all of these things and more, to get a TINY percentage of people to stop being morons and play good guy for a while - and only for a while. Where are these magical script kiddies - who really, really want to be good, honest they do - Old Man McGinty is talking about? Can we have some of them to play with?
Oh, right. Didn't think so.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again - UK law enforcement tackling cybercrime is like Stevie Wonder playing Dance Dance Revolution. And all these ancient Government type guys who are older than the telephone need to get out of the way and stop talking about computers, technology and (most of all) script kiddies.
Because they have absolutely no idea what they are talking about.
Oh, the rage.
Also: More sensible takes on this here and here. I'll just stick with the ranting and cheap insults, for those are my boomsticks and I'm happy to deploy them.
“You need youngsters who are deep into this stuff… If they have been slightly naughty boys, very often they really enjoy stopping other naughty boys,” he said.”
Wait, what?
Look out, clueless guy ahoy.
Apart from the fact that there's something distinctly pervy sounding about calling them "naughty boys" and "enjoyment" at them "getting caught" - we're not in some sort of boarding school here - this is the biggest heap of crap I've heard since the last time some old guy who knows nothing about computers talked a load of old crap.
Let's go out and hire (nay, REWARD) a bunch of talentless, idiotic script kiddies who haven't done very much of note to defend a country? Oh yeah, that's genius, that is.
Except that they
a) have little to no technical knowledge
b) enjoy cutting and pasting other peoples work (due to the whole lack of knowledge thing) and
c) are idiots, who leave their entire life across ten social networking sites then wonder how come you're waiting outside their house with a baseball bat and a length of cheesewire.
Last time I checked, the SAS was not full of morons. Nor are the SEALs, or any number of dedicated anti-whatever teams. Why should UK cyber security rather predictably be given the bastard children of a thousand leftover takeaway meals to defend it?
Idiots commanding idiots, I love it. I'm going to go out and phish six hundred XBox Live accounts, I might be in Whitehall within six months. Let me tell Old Man McGinty something - I have waded through a crapload of script kiddies, and every now and then even convinced them to do the right thing(TM).
But you know what? In order to get them to do the right thing, more often than not I had to THREATEN THEM WITH HORRIBLE AND EMBARRASSING THINGS. It took time. It took effort. It took pictures of them cavorting with their rather large and thuggish best mates girlfriend. Sometimes I did the cavorting.
It took all of these things and more, to get a TINY percentage of people to stop being morons and play good guy for a while - and only for a while. Where are these magical script kiddies - who really, really want to be good, honest they do - Old Man McGinty is talking about? Can we have some of them to play with?
Oh, right. Didn't think so.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again - UK law enforcement tackling cybercrime is like Stevie Wonder playing Dance Dance Revolution. And all these ancient Government type guys who are older than the telephone need to get out of the way and stop talking about computers, technology and (most of all) script kiddies.
Because they have absolutely no idea what they are talking about.
Oh, the rage.
Also: More sensible takes on this here and here. I'll just stick with the ranting and cheap insults, for those are my boomsticks and I'm happy to deploy them.
Labels: wtf
7 Comments:
"UK law enforcement tackling cybercrime is like Stevie Wonder playing Dance Dance Revolution"
theres tea on my monitor - AND ITS NOT COMING OFF
i'm so glad there are people out there who see articles like that and see it for what it is - yet more rewarding of people who deserve NOTHING from the tax payer (who no doubt would be the ones coughing up for them to be entirely ineffective in their new found positions).
Maybe I can audition for the part of Minister for Cyber Defense by programming a 4-channel DVR for him.
THICKEST irony ever... get a mirror Chrissy.
"THICKEST irony ever... get a mirror Chrissy."
Chrissy?
Hahahahaha.
Actually, my experience of UK law enforcement and cybercrime has been positive - the PCEU actually know what they are talking about. The problem? Well, funding is a joke and they are overwhelmed by work. HMG is not really interested in capturing actual criminals, is it? It's more interested in spying on the innocent than acting against the guilty!
My experiences with them have been universally dreadful.
As for PECU, I remain a little unconvinced - not only did I do a talk where a PECU police officer struggled with his own presentation (due to him clearly not really understanding what he was talking about 100%), but I'm also thinking this is just some hoo-ha that they're promoting in the run up to the olympics, they'll claim they "stopped terrorism" (which is what one of their presos went on about) and then they'll be disbanded shortly after.
I hope they prove me wrong, however.
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